*Note from writer :- I am replacing He/she with Hshe because fuck, I aint gonna write he/she every time man. Give a man a break, will ya. Remember, Hshe! Also introducing Hshim.*
Hey hey hey there this is Drago Felagund here to talk to you. So I hope that you’ve all been to college or are currently attending college(in case you’re one badass motherfucker!).
Try and think what the main ingredients of a college are : –
- Crazy moments. Mostly related with alcohol and/or the smoking of pot.
- And yes, as the title suggests, TEACHERS.
Teachers. The one entity(I do believe all teachers are part of the Illuminati) that has the ability to either totally fuck you up or give you everything you ever wanted in life(I mean, sex would be crazy, but so are some teachers!).
Here I present to you ultimate Teachers list, the best of the best : 5 kinds of teachers you’ll encounter in this crazy world!
- The “ROBOT” One.
Yes, I know, we all have had that teacher who looks like he is an old version of the robots that appear in I, Robot. I mean, man, do I look like fucking Will Smith? These teachers have learned a script, have learned the rules by heart and are dedicated to a life of boredom.
Like seriously, what’s their hobby, listening to the college anthem and going to book review groups(sorry book review group people, but seriously, what the hell do you do?!)?
No matter what you do in class, this teacher will have a response ready, which will be either a rule or a rebuke. Take this hypothetical scenario, where the cool kid tries to get the ROBOT’s attention :-
cool kid : “Hey prof, look at this crazy thing I made out of paper in your class! Please, can you be more interesting?”
Will Smith’s nemesis : – “Keep that thing away and look here at the board!”
crazy Mofo :- “But sir, it’s so pretty!”
Fucked up Robot : – “… So the way to create transistors using your…”
class :- “*snoring*”
RoboDawg :- “*continues teaching to that one guy who loves that the teachers love him while the rest of the class is drooling over perfectly good paper*”
At least care for the fucking trees man, stop the drool pool!
2. The “Buffering” Guy
Okay, so this is from personal experience. And I believe on of these are in every college on this planet. First up, this teacher is inherently sad. I mean, not sad as in pursuit of happiness sad but as in Titanic sad. You look at him and feel sadness and depression oozing out of hshim.
Secondly, and the most noticeable trait which gave hshim the name “Buffering”, is because that’s what hshe does! Hshe talks and then suddenly, STOP. You all looking at hshim like “Man, don’t die on us!” Like, is hshe getting a heart attack or is hshe dipped in heavy water? What is hshe’s deal?!
This person is extremely easy to handle. It’s simple : Sleep. I mean, learn to study and shit and be attentive in class is what normal people say. I ain’t here to talk about normal shit, so shut it, arshlock, as the Germans say.
Literally, I can sleep in hshim’s class sitting right under his nose and hshe won’t notice it!
In the end, I just find them sadly cute.
Stop judging me.
3. The “Excited” One!!!!
Yes, the one everyone has CERTAINLY faced. That teacher who is so excited to teach, you just start enjoying his class! This person is not the type who cracks jokes(that’s the next one), but who teaches with so much enthusiasm that it just feel wrong to not listen to hshim!
Take this scenario where the previous class was either of the “ROBOT” or of the “Buffering” and the next class is of the Excited one :-
Whole class :- *yawning and sleeping and drooling and red-eyed and nodding off and various other non-productive adjectives*
Fucking Tom Cruise/Jennifer Lawrence Enters :- “HELLO CLASS! What is up! What is this I see?! Wake up, orcs and listen up!”
Class starting shuffling back to normalcy :- “Yes yes we’re here please start teaching…”
Jumpy prof :- “Sooooo, today we’re about to learn something really dear to me and I love explaining this to people so blah blah blah!!!!”
At the end of the class :
Whole class :- “Hell yeah, and that is that and this is this and I totally understand what you’re saying and I might pass this topic!”
Bloody hero :- “Thank you and I love ya’ll!*walks off into the sunset on a bike as the red sun takes a dip right in front of him.*
Really, though a bit exaggerated, a lot of the times this is the effect these teachers have on the class and generally people and is why some students attend class.
5. The “Joker” One XD
This person is on par with the Excitable One in terms of class attention. Well, up to a bit.
Because unlike the previous teacher, hshe is not really that into teaching than he is into making a career in stand-up comedy.
This teacher is constantly cracking jokes and laughing and telling crazy stories and trying to be buddies with the students.
I mean, dude, will you stop making jokes about guys hitting on girls? That’s not what all guys talk about, y’know. You’re not getting any closer to us than a spider is going to get close to me.
I hate the crap out of spiders. Yuuuckckckck.
It’s because of this person that sometimes some students have to the unthinkable : Remind a teacher to teach.
It IS their fucking job, innit?
So here are the 5 types of teachers I found to be very interesting. I know I left out a ton of other types so go ahead and comment or mail me what I’ve missed out and I’ll write about them in the next one!
P.S.- In totally unrelated shit, here is Harley Quinn. See if you like her this time!
Email – firstname.lastname@example.org