Hey hey hey this is Drago Felagund here to talk with you. Do you live alone? Or do you live with people around you(not family)? However your condition may be, there’s definitely going to be a fucking mess around you. Always. Every single time. It’s like you’re a motherfucking goddamn magnet for shit. And maybe you are. Most possibly. And maybe you’re a duck struggling with life. No, that is definitely a 100%. Major derailment happening right now. So.
So, Duck, today, I, your Lord and Saviour, have come up with a solution for all your winged ailments! Rejoice, my flock! Rejoice, because here I present the steps for a clean fucking surrounding : –
- Just so you look like you know you’re a mess, look like a boss. Look like you own everything. Look like you’re the king and everyone else are the peasants. Just do it.
- Look at the mess. And I don’t mean just look. Give it that hard stare you give someone when they insult your duck clan fandom. Give it that stare. It will definitely make you feel better. Fucking kill it with that stare.
- Collect all the mess in one place. I’m telling you, so do it.
- Place it in a circle. Circles are always the best.
- Now place 3 skulls around the circle and chant ” Smack that” by Akon.
- While singing, dance like you don’t care! It won’t work if you care. Not even a little bit, asshole.
- After smacking so much of that, passionately kiss a dog. Come on, I know you like that, you dirty whore.
- Alright. After all this just do one thing. Burn the shit down. Cause you know, you are so messy even bloody rituals can’t save you. Go get a mop and clean that burnt ash up and go to sleep and cry at how disgusting you are.
So here, you have the ultimate method on how to clean your surroundings up! Save yourself and your loved ones, clean your nether regions everyday and go kiss that dog!