Hey hey hey there people this is Drago Felagund here to talk with you. About the biggest hoax this world has ever seen. We all believed it, and were extremely excited about it. But did it really happen? Yes, I’m talking about Leo apparently winning the Oscar!
So how did it happen? Was a fluke? Lets start with the obvious signs. It is clear that he did not win. Let us investigate.
The first needle of suspicion turns to the… Illuminati *eerie music in the background*. Is it possible that the worldwide secret organisation is finally starting to emerge and beginning to take over the world? Did they plant Leo as an agent so as to gain our trust and win over our hearts and then destroy us all in a flash of light? Only time will tell. All we can do speculate. Teh illuminati still prevails. Only Lord Matthew McConaughey will reveal the ultimate defense against this virus. All in good time.
Since the Illuminati remains under shades and hidden, we now move on to the next suspect. Teh potatoe peple. Now many of you do not know, but these are a group of people powerful enough to challenge the Illuminati in the war for the world. But are they powerful enough to make Leo win the Oscars? I think so. Science thinks so. Science has proven this, although I cannot reveal it to you bros. I am sorry. But lets just say that… they are still out there.
Let me add that, yes, The Revenant was a good movie, but Leo fucking deserved the Oscar for the Titanic or Blood Diamond or Wolf of Wall Street or something. Not for grunting and running for a whole movie. I mean, what? why? So many questions, and no answers.
And the next in line is Johnny Depp. Beware, Humans of the Earth and all those that believe in all that is good and true. Go forth and win the battle! We do not fight for ourselves but for our children and our children’s children! We live to make the future generations proud, to make our women proud! This day, we fight! We shall not allow these false organizations to win against us! Nay!
/_\ lizards rule all.