Hey hey hey this is Drago Felagund here to talk to you. So, I was chilling one day, looking at hot girls passing by and just imagining how their boobs would be. You know, normal guy stuff. Everyone has that phase when you’re just obsessed with boobs. Like, that’s all you can think about. This is about when I had one fucking embarrassing moment with a bunch of people I know. So I was just sitting there when suddenly I see a group of my lady friends walking past by. Naturally, I yelled to get their attention. As they slowly walked towards me, I noticed that one girl was new in the group and I had no idea who she was. Fuck. And she was hot as hell. You know, perfect boobs and perfect body and stuff. To be truthful, I couldn’t bloody take my eyes off her amazing bosom. I think all my friends noticed that. Needless to say, those douchebags made fun of me. Fucking friends man. But hey, that pair of perfectly shaped round things were beautiful and I can still imagine them. Actually, right now, yeah.
So, my boob loving male and female friends(girl, if you like tits, don’t be afraid to show the love), here are some tips to avoid that awkward boob-staring-public situations you frequently find yourself in!!!
- Make sure you’ve got your best act on. Cause if you succeed, you’ll be the Leonardo di Caprio of not-seeing-amazingly-perfect-boobs-in-public acting.
- Look as warm and happy and stoned as you can. That helps, because anything is allowed when you’re stoned.
- If you pull the being-stoned act successfully, no need to go further. Jut do what you wanna do after that. But if you’re not at your 100% stoned self, continue to step 4 and so on.
- Keep fixing your hair and tilting your head. Try to get little peeps of those titties.
- Keep checking your fingernails. At this point, it is absolutely NECESSARY to keep your mind busy!
- Try and make jokes and laugh a lot with your eyes closed. DON’T PEEP at this stage, else it becomes really clear what you’re trying to achieve, you sicko.
- Keep checking your watch and slowly walk back. Or more like shift back.
- Finally, tell them that you’ve got to go somewhere and will see them later or some shit. Who cares. By this point all you gotta care about is that last final glimpse of the glorious heavenly bouncy stuff. Walk away normally, even though you’re bursting from the inside!
Congrats, my weird pervert friends! If you followed those steps exactly WORD TO WORD, you will not only successfully avoid public embarrassment, but also preserve that last morsel of dignity that you have. Truthfully, there is no solution for such moments. All you CAN do is fucking avoid these fucked up situations and bloody leave.
Salute to tits. That’s all I gotta say.